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The Hand that Wouldn't Die
The disembodied hand belonging to Jack, Ted's great-grandfather. [GS]

Handyman [Wendell Robert Baker]
An old coot who hangs the "Ted McGriff, Manager" sign per Ted's instructions. He blows off Mr. Ernst, deferring to the boss, Ted. [MM]

Happy Water Well Diggers
The only well digging company in town. Mr. Satkina is the owner. [Rain]

Harmony
The unflattering Dud Ranch comic strip version of Melody. [Dude]

Harry [John Wareing]
One of the Miss Bar None beauty pageant judges. He is also a Bar None ranch hand. He is moved to tears by Melody's rendition of "Home on the Range." [MT]

Hat on a bed
Superstitious Jake says never put a hat on a bed, as it's bad luck. This is in fact a documented cowboy superstition. Jake jumps all over Buddy for carelessly tossing his cap on the bunk. [Supe]

Heather
One of Ted's transitory romantic interests (which doesn't automatically make her interested in him). As a young, female guest of the Bar None, she shares a place in his memory with Charlene...and Jennifer...and Tiffany. [PitN]

heights
Ernst affliction #44. Mr. Ernst has a fear of heights that Jake's Mondo Courage program semi-successfully cures. Mrs. Parker also has a fear of heights and enrolls in Jake's program. [Fear]

Hendersons
A pair of returning guests. Ted talks about getting the horses (bays) that they love to ride ready for them. [LL]

hiccups
Ernst Affliction #19, Mr. Ernst has a problem with hiccups. As usual, no cause and no specified cure, but in between Mr. Ernst tries every known folk remedy in a vain attempt to cure himself. [GS]

Edith Hilliard [Glenda Erzen]
The president of an organization known as the Daughters of the Pioneers of the Eastern States, and mother of Richard Hilliard. She scouts the ranch as a possible site for the group's annual dinner dance. Mr. Ernst sucks up to her expensive demands, up until she suggests that Mr. Ernst rid himself of the "horrid little teenagers". Mr. E tears up the hard earned agreement and happily watches her and her son stomp off in their limo. Bar One, I guess. [HC]

Richard Hilliard [Joseph Richard Romanov]
The rich kid son of socialite Edith Hilliard. Melody finds him "gorgeous" and tries to impress him during his visit to the ranch, even to the point of pretending to be Brad. But Brad remembers the Richard of her youth, "an obnoxious little creep". And Danny runs has a snooty encounter of his own. [HC]

"Home on the Range"
Melody's sings this classic for talent portion of the First Annual Miss Bar None Competition. She originally wanted to sing "The Greatest Love of All," but couldn't afford the public performance license. "Home on the Range" is public domain, Jake explains to her, and free. [MT]

Homer [Sarge McGraw]
He delivers hay to the Bar None. He also delivers Jake to the ranch. Homer and Jake do not seem to get along. Homer looks like your typical cowboy veteran, lanky and bushy mustached. [NKOTB]

hot sauce
Let's let Danny describe it: "These chips are full of corn. And the hot sauce full of tomatoes. You never would have seen either if the Indians hadn't grown them for your ancestors." Then Danny confiscates Ted's chips and hot sauce because they've made a bet that Ted can't go a week without using things the Indians provided. [BB]

hypnotism
Buddy succumbs to a hypnotism kick. Danny is resistant to his spell, but Jake turns out to be a more willing subject. However, Buddy's suggestion to Jake to pour cereal over his head backfires several times. Jake admits he was faking the trance the whole time. Buddy gets him back with a genuine post-hypnotic suggestion to howl like a coyote whenever Jake hears the word "snare drum". [NNMNG]

Indian Rock
When Mr. Ernst took Miss Andrews out on a trail ride, he paraded her by several rock formations that looked like an Indian profile. Brad informs her that it sounds likes Indian Rock, but there's only one. Miss Andrews, to her credit, figured that one out. [TP]

International Feed Catalog
One of the magazines Lucy and Mr. Ernst give to Danny while recuperating from his fall from a ladder. [PitN]

Irma Caulfield (aka Miss Irma) [Liz Kneeland]
One of the Miss Bar None beauty pageant judges. She is the founder of Miss Irma's Arizona Charm School. Miss Irma is the only one outside Melody that seems to take the pageant seriously. After the contest, she tells the girls that Melody's refreshingly honest final speech tilted the voting to her favor. [MT]

Aunt Irma
Trying to cheer up Melody, who is stricken with the chicken pox, Ted tells the story of his Aunt Irma. She had a bump on her face that got bigger and bigger until it finally exploded. After successfully spooking Melody, he admits he was joking. But about Aunt Irma, the bump, or the explosion? [MHW]

Jack
Ted's great-grandfather. Maybe. Jack is the main character in Ted's ghost story, so this may be a total fabrication. Anyway, back in 1863, Jack worked in a dangerous sawmill in Massachusetts where fingers and hands were getting chopped off left and right. Jack tried to change things there, but all he did was piss off the owners. The owners cut off his right hand and fired him. Later, the owners were found strangled. Jack was the main suspect, but the evidence indicated that the killer used his right hand. Spooky. To this day, the "hand that wouldn't die" is passed from youngest son to youngest son. Ted is his father's youngest son, and he shows the hand to the rest of the kids. [GS]

Jake's Guide to Life
Jake always carries with him a micro tape recorder. In it, he records everything that's important to him, such as things he's done or ideas he has. At any moment, inspiration can strike, and a new entry is recorded.
  • Invention: rotary nose hair trimmer modeled after the weed whacker. [NKOTB]
  • In Chapter One: People will do anything if you ask them right. [EXS]
  • Chapter Six: "A Sap No More" [NNMNG]
  • In Chapter Seven: When skill fails you, try luck. [Baby]

Jake's Spa
In an attempt to help Jake get fired, the kids setup pool equipment at the corral's horse trough, agitate the water with a pump, and hang up a colorful sign reading "Jake's Spa". When Mr. Ernst sees it, a change-of-heart Jake successfully bluffs him into thinking it is "Bar None Sparkling Horse Water." [NKOTB]

James/not James
Ted's hired limousine driver after he "wins" the Arizona lottery. Tall and stiff, kind of a creepy cross between David Cronenberg and Lurch. Ted calls him James. When the driver informs him that his name is not James, Ted peels another bill off his wad. "James, it is. Good day, sir." [MM]

Jeannie
One of the teen staffers at the Bar None. She's a young, blonde girl. [HC]

Jed
An imaginary employee the kids invent to save Jake from getting fired. After Jake accidentally sinks Mr. Ernst's canoe, the kids blame the deed on Jed. Actually, Brad says "Jeff" and Melody says "Ed." The ruse gets tangled when Mr. Ernst asks to meet with his new employee. In attempts to get Jed fired and off the payroll, the kids construct a dummy of Jed (voice by Jake). The dummy-Jed insults Mr. Ernst, rides Brad's horses, and fight's with Jake over Mr. Ernst's honor. The kids succeed in getting Jed fired, but Mr. Ernst gets the last laugh when he hires Jed back! According to Buddy, Jed was raised on a ranch farm in Chicago, plays guitar, mountain climbs, speaks Japanese, and has visited Australia. [LoJ]

Jeep
The Bar None jeep is a red Wrangler. [D1BN] Later, it's a yellow colored Wrangler. [IRTA] The Bar None jeep sets up a male bonding experience for arch-rivals Ted and Kyle when it breaks down on a back road. Because of their injuries, Ted and Kyle must help each other to escape the desert. [JG]

Jennifer
One of Ted's transitory romantic interests (which doesn't automatically make her interested in him). As a young, female guest of the Bar None, she shares a place in his memory with Charlene...and Heather...and Tiffany. [PitN]

Jerk
The unflattering Dud Ranch comic strip version of Jake. "Jerk" is a dweeb who gets a job at the ranch only because he's the owner's nephew. [Dude]

Mark Johnson
Brad's old boyfriend back home, stolen away by her rival, Kimberly Carroll. According to Kimberly, it was because Brad is too athletic. He must want what that Titanic guy called "an indoor girl." To each his own. [GBO]

Harry Jones
This is the alias the bank robbing pilot gives Brad when he tries to make a getaway from the Bar None. [CL]

Julianna
In Mr. Ernst's original murder-mystery script, this is Brad's role as Rock Lovejoy's oppressed daughter. Brad and her lover, Ramon (Kyle), conspire to kill Mr. Ernst so they can be married and run away. When Kyle gets confused by the script names, Mr. Ernst rewrites the script using the staff's real names. [MHW]

Kit
When Ted returns as a lottery-winning millionaire, he baits Kyle by derisively calling him "Kit". Kyle bites and is quick to correct Ted. [MM]

Korab [Joesph Dignoti]
One of the fish and potato hurling Ladavians. He loses Makyak to Jake, and is now Jake's sworn enemy. [MM]

Kyle-chang
The guy getting in between the Ted-wasaki and Brad-wong's budding relationship. Ted-wasaki is Ted McGriff's Asian pen pal, whom Ted is helping out when he "Asks Jake" for some relationship advice. [DD]

Ladavia
As Jake describes it, "a tiny Eastern European country scrunched in between Yugoslavia and Albania." Five Gypsies from Ladavia visit the Bar None Ranch. They are an eccentric bunch of tourists with little respect for the culture or customs this country. They communicate (poorly) through a phrasebook, and the mere mention of the word "ernst" sends them into a shrill fish and potato flinging frenzy. They must be loaded with cash, though, because they bail out Mr. Ernst from a financially precarious situation. Because they eat a lot of stringy meats, they purchase the substantial remains of Mr. Ernst's disintegrated toothpick sculpture. Jake inadvertently marries Makyak, an annoyingly Ladavian woman. [MM]

Lake Benjamin
More like a big pond on the Bar None property. Most guests and staff prefer swimming in the pool. Melody shows Bill the lake on their date. [RfR] The lake is in danger of drying up when the Snake Eyes Ranch dams up Credence Creek. [DR]

Lasso
The unflattering Dud Ranch comic strip version of Lucy. She's portrayed as the "terrorist ranch hand" who's always on everyone's case. [Dude]

leg cramps
While handcuffed to Ted, the pair must spend the night together in a bunk bed. Brad must sleep on her belly, or else she gets these cramps. While on the bottom bunk, on her back, Brad gets a few cramps and kicks Ted through the mattress above her with her long, muscular legs. This triggers a retaliatory arm spasm condition in Ted, and soon leads to a pillow fight between the two. [T&BGH]

Leonard Watkins of Plymouth, England
According the chain letter addressed to superstitious Jake, poor Mr. Watkins broke the chain and was run over by a milk truck and dragged for three miles! [Supe]

Leslie
The name Brad suggests for Baby Fleeman. Ted says it's a girl's name, but Brad indignantly replies that Leslie is her grandfather's name. [Baby]

Lester [David K. Young]
One of the Space Agency employees testing spacesuits at the Bar None. He, along with Boyd, is misidentified as a space alien. [TMTYL]

life saving certification
In order to get affordable liability insurance rates for the ranch, Mr. Griggs requires that the entire staff be lifeguard certified. Melody, the only certified member, attempts to teach the other staff members. But it turns out Brad is afraid of the water! [Fear]

Linda
Danny blows off lunch duty to spend time with Linda, whom he really likes. They have a lot in common and she can make the Vulcan peace sign. He sends Buddy over to pass the message to a hectic Melody, who is working lunch alone because Brad has also blown off lunch duty. [NNMNG]

Rock Lovejoy
In Mr. Ernst's original murder-mystery script, this is his own starring role, in which he plays the unwitting murder target of several greedy associates played by the staff. When Kyle gets confused by the script names, Mr. Ernst rewrites the script using the staff's real names. [MHW]

Ludmilda
While Ted tries to get a double date going, Danny is kept blind. He finally wrangles this name out of Ted, and Danny hears first it as "Broom Hilda"! But Ludmilda isn't much better. Danny fears he'll be dating an "East German shot putter." [OLC]

Madison School, The
The boarding school Brad attended. A rich kids school. Brad hated it, but did enjoy the field trips, like the ski weekend in Switzerland, or the trip to Paris. Trying to impress high society's Richard Hilliard, Melody pretends that she too attended the Madison School. [HC]

Makyak [Holly Wimberley]
A Ladavian woman that visits the Bar None with her clan. When Jake overzealously attempts to communicate with the excitable foreigners, he somehow becomes married to Makyak. She's obviously smitten with Jake, always hanging on his arm. Korab is not happy with the marriage, but takes it like a man. [MM]

Math Puzzles for the Really, Really Smart
One of the magazines Lucy and Mr. Ernst give to Danny while recuperating from his fall from a ladder. Remember that Mr. Ernst is a former accountant. [PitN]

Frankie "Flash" McGuire [Verson Travis Whilhite]
The baseball pro Mr. Ernst enlists to play against the Snake Eyes Ranch. He's from the Tucson Tornados. He's also old, has a gut, and a trick shoulder that easily pops out of joint. Of course, his shoulder pops out at a crucial moment, forcing Mr. Ernst to literally step uo to the plate. Before the game, Mr. E talks him up, saying he hit .315 last year. [DR]

mass hysteria
When the "real life" Jed (AKA Andy Ryan) greets the entire gang in the bunkhouse, Jake tells Jed that he's a symptom of mass hysteria. That's because the kids made up Jed. [LoJ]

Melody's deranged workouts
This is what Brad calls Mel's aerobics. Or, to quote Brad's biting sarcasm, "that loud stuff you do in that delightful, exuberant way you have." Brad creates a bunkmate schedule and slots the workouts during mealtime. Melody is not amused. [BB]

metal detector
While scrounging up funds for a potential double date, Ted and Danny briefly bring up the idea of buying a metal detector and hunting for buried money, then realize the detector would cost much more than the date. [OLC] Buddy later gets his hands on a real one, but besides a rusty can, all he discovers are alien invaders! [TMTYL]

Mr. Miller
When Mel and Ted play charades to guess which guest is the subject of a crush, Mel lists off Mr. Miller. Nope. [LL]

miniature golfing
When Ted & Melody & Kyle & Brad go on a double date, they go miniature golfing. Ted changes the scorecard and generally does all he can to make Kyle look bad. Brad and Ted spend more time fighting than golfing. Melody points out to Kyle that that's how they flirt. So Mel and Kyle strand Ted and Brad. Ted and Brad work off their round in waders, collecting golf balls out of the water hazards. [DD]

Miss Tucson pageant
Melody wants to enter this contest, open to one contestant per ranch. The winner could go on to become Miss Young Arizona. Mr. Ernst and the gang are excitedly behind the idea of Melody representing the Bar None, until Brad decides that she too wants a chance to enter. Mr. Ernst decides to hold the First Annual Miss Bar None Competition to determine the ranch's representative. [MT]

Mondo Courage
Jake's new workshop on how to conquer your fears. His first customer is Mrs. Parker, a Bar None guest. She has a fear of heights, so Jake hangs her from by the ankles...from the roof. This stunt almost gets Mr. Ernst in trouble with the insurance man. Jake unsuccessfully tries to cure Brad's fear of water, but later has makes better progress with Mr. Ernst's own fear of heights. [Fear]

Father Muckerman
The priest at Miss Andrews' church. Miss Andrews bought a raffle ticket at this church and won a holiday weekend at the Bar None Ranch. [TP]

mummy
Ted dresses up (elaborately) like a mummy in a sputtering attempt to spook the kids. Ted violates every rule of a good scare: it isn't real, he creates no atmosphere, and it has no twist. As Brad notes, jumping out of the water trough confuses the mummy with The Creature from the Black Lagoon. [GS]

"Murder is Not the Answer, Oh Yeah!"
Taking a key quote from Mr. Ernst's botched, er, revised, murder-mystery script, a Hollywood producer offers to buy the story and turn it into a musical. But Mr. Ernst refuses because his starring role would be recast. [MHW]

murder mystery
Ernst scheme #52. To help generate more revenue for the ranch, Mr. Ernst writes a murder mystery dinner theater play, in which the staff plays actors plotting to kill Mr. Ernst. But that plot runs awry when Ted and Melody mistake the rehearsals for an actual attempt at murder. [MHW]

natural spirits
In the Hopi Indian culture, everything in nature has a spirit. Harmony with the natural spirits is vital, and the last thing a Hopi wants to do is to offend nature. [Rain]

Mrs. Niederlander
Mr. E calls a locksmith to free Ted and Brad from their handcuffed predicament, but he can't come out yet, because he needs to free Mrs. Niederlander. Apparently, she's chained herself to her husband's golf clubs. "Some kind of social protest," Mr. E speculates. [T&BGH]

North Road
It floods over when the Catalina Wash overflows. While checking out the road, the squabbling Ted and Kyle get stuck with a broken jeep and injuries. [JG]

novocaine
Let's let Danny describe it: "Novocaine never would have been created if it hadn't been for the natural painkillers that the Indians discovered." This does not bode well for Ted, because he needs a cavity filled. The pair made a bet that Ted can't go a week without using things the Indians provided. [BB]

Officer Duncan
When Mr. Ernst buys some hot walkie talkies, he doesn't realize how hot they are. While testing them, an Officer Duncan cuts in and rudely warns him to stay off the police frequency. [LL]

owl
For some reason, Mr. Ernst buys a three foot high, painted plaster owl at an auction, leading Lucy to quip, "Taste is a funny thing." Before Mr. Ernst ever sees it at the ranch, Jake stumbles while moving it. It shatters into a zillion pieces. Nobody figures it'll be missed. [Dude]

"P" words
Superstitious Jake says you're really not supposed to use words that begin with the letter "P" in months without the letter "R" in them. This subject is brought up when Buddy mentions penguins. [Supe]

"Packing: From Turmoil to Triumph"
For the talent portion of the Miss Bar None pageant, Brad demonstrates one of the few feminine talents she possesses: packing a suitcase. Ted and Kyle are aghast during the routine, as it was something Kyle had suggested purely in jest. But she pulls it off, and the crowd and judges are entertained. The competing Melody is extremely upset by the positive reaction. [MT]

Pantano Academy
A nearby riding school. At a rodeo, the guys from the Academy followed Brad around the whole night. (Cursory research doesn't uncover a real "Pantano Academy", but does yield "Pantano Riding Stables," among many other area businesses using "Pantano" in their names.) [DD]

Mrs. Parker [Barbara Lamm]
A guest at the Bar None. She's Jake's first Mondo Courage customer. She enrolls to conquer her fear of heights. Jake suspends her from the roof, and later plans to have her walk across some hot coals. Mrs. Parker has a heated argument with her husband over that therapy. [Fear]

Mr. Parker [Charles DiPinto]
A guest at the Bar None. Jake's Mondo Courage program is to help Mr. Parker conquer his of...Mrs. Parker! [Fear]

penny on the ground
Superstitious Jake says a penny on the ground can be really good luck if it's heads, or really bad luck if it's tails. If If you pick up a tails, you have to walk around backwards for a day. If it's heads, then pick it up and it will be your lucky penny. [Supe]

Pepper
Brad's main riding horse. It is a dapple grey. The name "Pepper" almost surely stems from the spotted coloring. [BotS]

personality quiz
Melody gives the other kids a personality quiz out of a magazine. Ask Brad as to what those are worth. [CE] The results:
  • Danny: 84, a fun and spirited person;
  • Melody: 87, a warm and fuzzy personality;
  • Brad: 98, a sparkling gem;
  • Ted: 65, personality of asparagus;
  • Ted (re-test): 55, a personality that makes an onion seem interesting.

photoaphobia
A condition that prevents exposure to the sun for 24 hours. The kids make up "photoaphobia" when they explain to Mr. Ernst why the newly introduced Jed is wearing a box on his head. Of course, the real reason is that Jed doesn't exist, and it's really Jake pretending to be Jed. [LoJ]

Pilot [Mark Lang]
The "airborne bank robber" who crash lands nearby the Bar None and drops Mr. Ernst, Ted, and Buddy down a mineshaft. Luckily, the meddling kids of the Bar None foil his plans. How his caper went: He landed his plane in the middle of Flagstaff's main street, robbed First State Bank of $80,000, and then flew away. He's very proud of this achievement and rather put out that none of his hostages are aware of his exploits. [CL]

pre-fab crab
When high society maven Edith Hilliard demands cracked crab for the D.O.P.E.S. dinner-dance, Mr. Ernst tries to substitute the low cost yet tasty alternative. [HC]

radiator steam
Kyle is temporarily blinded when he pops the lid off a hot radiator. Jealous Ted calls Kyle stupid for doing that. It turns out that this has Kyle has done this before. As Ted notes, "What an idiot, man! I mean once takes a certain kind of stupidity, but TWICE?! TWICE?! Oh, man!" [JG]

Ralph
Owner of the Circle J Ranch. He tips off Mr. Ernst about the impending, secret visit from the Southwest Dude Ranch Guide. His wife's name is Alice. [SS] When Mr. Ernst sells the ranch, Ralph agrees to give the Bar None horses a good home. [CE]

Ramon
In Mr. Ernst's original murder-mystery script, this is Kyle's role as one half of the young couple in love. Ramon and his lover, Julianna (Brad), conspire to kill Mr. Ernst so they can be married and run away. When Kyle gets confused by the script names, Mr. Ernst rewrites the script using the staff's real names. [MHW]

Ranch Water Marshall
When the Bar None's water supply is threatened by a drought, Mr. Ernst appoints Ted as the Ranch Water Marshall. As expected, the power goes to Ted's head, and his overzealous enforcement of the ration rules angers Brad and Melody. [Rain]

Real Estate Agent [Robert Barlow Ramsden]
A hefty commercial realtor makes a deal with Mr. Ernst to sell the Bar None property so a mall can be built in its place. Thanks to the kids, Cowboy Ben cancels the deal. Ouch, that probably cost this guy a good commission. It could be, because the same actor later shows up as the Bar None chef in "No More Mr. Nice Guy". [CE]

Red team
For the Capture the Flag game, the Red Team is comprised of the Bar None veterans, Ted, Danny, and Melody. Red Team was last year's champion "lean, mean, flag capturing machine!" [War]

riding race
During the battle of the sexes, Brad challenges Ted to a horse race. Ted arrogantly accepts, but loses quite convincingly. However, he argues the outcome on a technicality, claiming Brad did not circle around a marker barrel as prescribed. The battle then moves on to cooking contest. [BotS]

Rocket
An unbroken horse that Lucy brings onto the ranch. Ted is immeidately smitten with the challenge. Lucy sternly tells Ted that Rocket is off limits. But in an attempt to impress a pretty guest from the city (Brad, as is turns out), he tries to mount Rocket anyway and nearly gets trampled. Later, with the help of Danny and Melody, he tries it again. This time he luckily gets bucked off into a mud hole. Brad gets on the horse and shows Ted how it's done. You see, Ted, Brad is the new Riding Instructor. [D1BN]

rodeo
Ernst scheme #58. Mr. Ernst suggests a Bar None Rodeo. Kyle agrees that it would be a god idea but suggests scaling it back to just one or two events. Mr. Ernst gives up on the idea and jokingly demonstrates a rodeo without horses -- Danny and Buddy wearing horse and cow costumes. [JG] Kyle and Brad both excel at the real local rodeo, with Brad winning her event and Kyle victorious in two events. Lucy is very proud of them. But in the same rodeo, Ted humiliatingly falls off his horse. Ted's observation of Brad and Kyle's "mutual admiration" drives him nuts. [DD]

Roger [Mario Guzman]
He took Brad on an enjoyable date, sparking jealous streaks in both Ted and Kyle. He's tall, handsome guy that owns a convertible, and chivalrous as well, as he swooped Brad up in his arms to carry her across a flooded parking lot. But he turns out to be a creep, and Ted and Kyle team up to defend Brad from his advances. [JG]

Bobby Rogers [Paul Whitthorne]
He's a TV star who plays America's first teenage fighter pilot. Melody describes him as "soooo cute" and "a dream". Ted describes him as "that goofy looking guy with weird hair". He comes to the Bar None to learn how to ride for his upcoming movie. Brad is his instructor, and Ted becomes jealous. But once Ted finds out that Bobby has a girlfriend (Mary Ann, whom he's known since junior high), Ted's worst fears are soothed. Later, Bobby uses his acting ability to save Ted's job. For what it's worth, Bobby turned eighteen on April 10th. [SS]

Ron [Ron Ford]
A portly male guest of the Bar None (credited as [Guest]). He's in the lodge when Ted comes in from his forced dunking in the lake. Ted calls him "Ron" and asks about his mail delivery. Later, Ron raises Mr. Ernst's interest when he asks the gang if Ted's received his medication yet. He's probably the husband of Mrs. Wilkins. [IRTA]

Roy [Tracy Henry]
A young guy who just started his job at the local newspaper, The Daily News. At the request of Danny's alleged agent, Jake, Roy visits the Bar None to consider Danny's cartoon. He's naturally distracted by Brad's mere presence, but she rebuffs his advances. When he visits the ranch again, he's pre-occupied with Danny's unauthorized attempt to create a kinder, gentler version of his biting satire of Bar None life. He kills the "Dud Ranch", then refuses Brad's acceptance to a date, fearing the relationship would somehow be doomed to failure, so why even try. [Dude]

Andy Ryan [uncredited]
The "real" Jed, works at the Double B ranch. The kids try to save Jake's job by fooling Mr. Ernst into thinking the imaginary employee Jed was causing trouble. Mr. Ernst immediately catches on and spooks the kids by hiring Andy to act as a real-life Jed. [LoJ]

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